Divorced fathers and dating
My life has been full of trials and disappointments, I've felt betrayed and forgotten by the Lord but it doesn't mean he was guilty of doing either.
He has always worked things out for good in my life when I decide to rest in Him and try to live in His instruction.
As a future father I would like to impart to my kids as much godliness as I can to give them a picture of what Gd really is. You might be shocked to discover that most of the involvement with your children consists of COMMANDS- fibish your homework, brush your teeth, go take a bath, eat your dinner, answer the door/phone etc. Perhaps he and your mother were a poorly suited match.
We must have REAL conversations with all family members. Perhaps he is gay, and shouldn't have been married in the first place. Perhaps his inattention to you was Gd's way of using nature to fashion the miracle that brought your soul back to faith.
Undomesticated, with no husband to feed, we ate takeout sushi most nights and took turns on the treadmill. We were both trying to date and it wasn't going well. The Song of Songs is a love song between a man and a woman, a metaphor for the love between God and the Jewish people.
But when it came to emotional closeness, feeling God's presence and love, I would find myself in a brief moment of connection and lose it as fast as it would come, with the thought, "God has left me to be with another." I was in school for nursing, living with my mother. Learning that reciting The Song of Songs for 40 days could bring me to the one I was destined to marry, I began.
I, too, have often struggled with the idea of the fatherhood of God when the word "father" carries nothing but negative connotations for me.
In any case, blaming others for one's problems is rarely beneficial, even when they are to blame. It left me confounded not knowing which way to trun. But when I realized G-d was my Father, I started coming up out of my 49th parallel. It saddens me to read the negative comments about who we identify G_D with.
So the roll of Father that G-d has is an important part of my life. I can identify with the author's strength in relationship with the Father.
My father and mother divorced when I was a baby, and he never troubled himself to be part of my life. What an incredible amount of inner work you've done to reach the level of relationship you describe, despite not being given the model you so desperately wished for (as we all do). Tragic indeed when parents are not willing to undertake the responsibility of nurturing a child.
I could count the number of times I had contact with my father on the fingers of one hand ... You have great reserves of faith, and you will only grow stronger and happier if you continue the path you have begun. Every child should have parents to stand by them, to give them guidance and strength.